At the risk of being misunderstood, I want to share with all who come to this page what the Amazing and Indescribable Lord Jesus has been doing in my life.

He has been healing me! Five years ago, I drove myself to insanity in my search for perfection. Perfection is an idol for me. I want to glorify God. I want to serve others. And I don't want to mess it up.

What God has shown me is His Sovereignty. I cannot possibly mess up His glory and the perfect work HE is doing in my life.We have been having a 40 day tent revival here in Dallas. It ended May 18th. May 17th we began praying for 10 days. Praying and waiting. What's wonderful is that we've been praying and waiting together. I had wished that my church family would join me, but what I'm seeing is that it only takes a remnant to bring revival to masses of people.

Tuesday night, Michael Thigpen, a wonderful preacher with dark skin ;), prayed over me. He prayed that I would see myself as Jesus sees me and that I would accept it.What a wonderful thought!!! As I drove around that night (Charla called it my moving prayer closet, which tickled me funny last night as I was driving around with half my closet in my trunk as I was on my way to housesit), the Lord took me back to an incident that happened when I was six years old. I was bit by a mean, abused dog. But that wasn't what he took me back too. There was a mean, abused little girl at the same house who bit me with her words. We were visiting her family for the weekend (and I cannot even recall their names). She and I were outside playing. I'm sure I was being my normal silly self - bordering on obnoxious (or gregarious, whatever). She suddenly stopped dancing or whatever we were doing and said, "You know - I don't like you. I'm just playing with you because I have to."

I just shrugged. What do you say to that? I just shrugged and you could say that I've been shrugging for 22 years. What God said to me on Tuesday night was that it was okay to be hurt by that. That was not a nice thing that happened. I didn't have to pretend that it didn't hurt my feelings. She didn't like me and she didn't know me. How could she decide that?I wept. I wept and wept and sobbed and felt God telling me that He saw me as that sweet little six year old - most beautiful and delightful.

I am accepting it. It's a hard thing to accept - God's grace and calling in your life. But how wonderful the blessings when we simply accept and say YES, LORD, not me or my work or will but THINE be done.

Jonny Lang

Jonny Lang's coming to Dallas and I'll be down in Southeast Texas working on houses working with youth.

Sometimes I wonder about this life I've chosen.

Surrendering of the will and all that good stuff.

I want to be Christ-conscious and not Kathryn-conscious . . . . . .but when faced with seeing one of your favorite artists and sacrificing to serve the people the Good Lord has called you to serve, it's easy to look up to the sky and wonder why.

I'm so selfish and materialistic. I'm so self-motivated. I often think in my relationship with the Lord that it is more selfishly motivated than really for the Glory of God.

Consider, in Bible College I read about George Mueller and his famous prayer for the removal of the fog. I desired to have that kind of faith. But why?! Because I wanted to pray in accordance with God's will so that my prayers would be answered immediately. Not really that I wanted to see Christ glorified in my life.

Lately, I've gone back to contemplating. George Mueller had such amazing faith because he set his mind and whole self to stay focused on the Lord ever increasingly in every moment because of His infinite worth.

I know He is infinitely worthy. I desire to praise Him as such and bring glory to Him. I desire that my life portray how infinitely worthy His truly is.

However, my selfish and rotten self kicks in and lies to me telling me that all this self-sacrifice is not really worth it. The flesh lies and says look at the immediate. Look at what's right in front of you. You have chosen a place with no one your age, and no prospects for marriage. Are you stupid or something??? Go to the Jonny Lang concert. Blow off those youth and their eternal condition. Do something for yourself.

I am doing something for myself. I am resting in the Sovereignty and Supremacy of Christ. He knows my needs, and He knows that I am a girl with girl emotions and desires. I HOPE in Him. I confidently lay all of my requests at His feet and I dance for joy that He takes them and fills my heart with His love.

I'm not the only one

The other day, the other 2nd grade bilingual teacher came in and she had white out all over her hand.

"What happened?"

"Oh, they're driving me crazy. Literally. I looked down and caught myself painting on myself."

She went on with much silliness and humor.

Now you know why we get three months of summer! It's to repair our sanity! :)

The Ingeniousness of 2nd Graders, Part 1

So I made a rule that my students could only use my name five times in one day. This was to cut down on the MS OLIVER MS OLIVER MS OLIVER - five times in a row really fast syndrome. STOP SAYING MY NAME!!! YOU ARE ABUSING MY NAME!!!!

So we held up our little hands and counted out five and that was how many times we could say Ms Oliver that day. So as they said the dreaded name, I could hold up my hand and tick off a time. Use it wisely was my mantra.

The following day, we applied the same rule. Fortunately/unfortunately, second graders are more ingenious than at first believed. My new name is Mo (the first letters of my name). This is how they chose to get around the saying of my name. Of course, I realize that any name ten million times a day is enough to drive a girl insane. I hole punched my hair that day. I didn't even think about it. I was hole punching and looked at the hole punch and though I wonder what would happen if I hole punched a portion of my hair. That's not normal. I immediately regretted it and then went on with my day. It's enough to drive a normal 28 year old insane.

:-)